What is my purpose in life, if not to become toast?!Īs a rule, if it takes me a day to not complete a game, I will not play it. By then, I had lost count of the number of times I had tried to become toast, but failed. My edibility level plunges to zero, and the game gives me an F for effort.

And as I’m subtly flopping up and down around the top of the toaster, I fall, helplessly, onto the floor.

And why is this bread picking up lint and fishbones like a dirt magnet? That can’t be edible…īy the time I reach the damn toaster, I have already been through hell, fallen on the floor, kitty litter, fish bones, jam, water - and I’m gritting my teeth and grazing my already raw fingers to try to get into the tiny little slot in the toaster. It’s hard enough to move around without a constant “the floor is lava” mentality hovering over you. A meter of edibility stays at the top of the page, taunting you and reminding you that you have a level of purity to uphold. You also have no control over which corner you are utilising (think of each corner as a limb) - the only corners being used are the ones which appear in little blinking circles.Īnd through all these kinetic challenges, you still have to keep in mind that you are, in fact, a piece of bread. The problem with this is that the bread has an inherent shifting weight, which moves about depending on the things you come into contact with. In the first level, for example, you have to navigate a kitchen. The issue - and I sound like just a nancy for saying this - is how difficult this game is. This is key to making this game work at all, and I honestly can’t think of any other point of reference that developers would have to simulate a piece of bread not acting like a piece of bread. It can be controlled via its four corners to climb walls like Spiderman, flop over anything, and travel long distances. With great graphics and an amazing dexterity that could only be chalked up to developers with a keen understanding of physics, the controls behind moving the bread make it seem like a chunky, latex-elastic, weighted piece of…something. The main aim, at each level, is to move a slice of bread (yourself) from wherever you are into the toaster, and literally turn yourself into toast. Yes, I’m one of those crazy people that would pay for an app.ĭon’t get me wrong, I Am Bread is a very clever game. When I saw it in the App Store, curiosity got hold of me and I decided to try it, though the game costs a whopping $5.98. I’ve played simulation games before, so I didn’t bat an eyelid when I heard of a game that would require me to play as a piece of bread.